Why Do I Feel Unfulfilled? 3 Practical Steps to More Fulfillment

Inside: Do you have everything you’ve ever wanted but find yourself stuck in a loop wondering, “Why do I feel unfulfilled?” Get the root cause, plus 3 simple steps to finding true fulfillment.

When I was a teenager, I just assumed I’d have a fulfilling life. One brimming with meaning, where I made a difference for others.

But by the time I hit my mid-30s, I was drifting through my days, feeling unfulfilled in life. A nagging, persistent unhappiness became my constant companion and I couldn’t figure out why.

On the one hand, I wasn’t living the life I’d dreamed of as a teen. But on the other hand, other people would have given their eye-teeth for what I had.

I should have felt satisfied but I wasn’t. So I fought my nagging unhappiness with every weapon I could find. Self-help books, new hobbies, volunteering. Not one of them worked.

So I kept drifting and wondering, “Why, oh why do I feel unfulfilled?”

Thank God, I finally found the answer.

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I Have Everything So Why Do I Feel Unfulfilled?

And speaking of God, I almost gave up on Him.

My prayer journals were bursting with pleas for Him to take away my misery and unhappiness. But it seemed like God was silent and I was sick and tired of waiting on Him.

I was ready to admit defeat. I thought God didn’t love me and I almost gave up on believing I was special to Him after all.

And now, you’re in the same place I was. Sure, you have everything the world said you should want. But you’re feeling unfulfilled in the good-looking life you chose and worked hard for.

And now you’re on the verge of believing you may as well forget about walking in your purpose because clearly, you don’t have one.

Maybe you should just forget about a meaningful life and do whatever the heck you want. It seems to work for everyone else. Their social media highlight reels say so.

Except, you’re not everyone else. So you cling to hope and keep wondering, “Why do I feel unfulfilled?”

Meanwhile, nothing you try seems to fix your nagging unhappiness for more than a hot minute.

Here’s why: Unhappiness isn’t your real problem.

Your real problem is that you’re not living the life God meant for you to live. And as a result, your heart is empty of joy and you’re stuck feeling unfulfilled in life.

Your soul is crying out for impossible, almost forgotten God-given dreams. And you’re lost and confused about what to do when you feel unfulfilled so you can start feeling fulfilled again.

But don’t despair. You now have the real answer to why you’re feeling unfulfilled in life. This means you can now find a real solution.

But First, Here’s the Problem

Now you know the answer to your question, “Why do I feel unfulfilled?”

You can approach your next step in different ways. Some people may say you should:

Dive into personal development.
Figure out your core values.
Decide on what counts as meaningful work for you.
Or set some new goals for yourself.

And sure, you could do any or all of these things.

But here’s the problem. You can’t take action to find fulfillment if you don’t get clear about where you are, where you want to go, and what you’ll have to do to get there.

This is why you need to sit down and organize your thoughts. You need to get quiet and get back in touch with your long-ignored God-given dreams.

It sounds simple but this is a powerful exercise.

You see, a bottomless source of joy for you lies buried in those suppressed dreams. And if you take the time to get clarity around them, you’ll know your next step to stop living an unfulfilled life.

3 Simple Steps for What to Do When You Feel Unfulfilled

If you want to stop wondering, “Why do I feel unfulfilled in my life?” you need to put on your researcher’s hat and study yourself and your life.

You need to think about and get clear on:

Where you are in specific areas of your life.
Where you want to be in those areas.
The gaps between where you are and where you want to be.

Then you’ll need to make a plan to bridge those gaps. Because wishing for more, a better, or different is all well and good. But taking action is what will give you the fulfillment you want.

This exercise doesn’t have to be complicated or overwhelming. It can be as simple as sitting down with one blank sheet of paper for each major area of your life.

For example, you can head up one sheet “Work/Career.” You can head up another sheet “Relationship with God,” and another “Meaningful Relationships.”

Review as many areas of your life as you want. But try to keep it to your 2 or 3 biggest areas of unhappiness right now.

Narrowing your focus to just a couple of areas will:

Minimize your risk of getting overwhelmed.
Release the most joy for you once you address those areas.
Boost your mental health the fastest.

Also, addressing your biggest problem area first often resolves issues in other areas.

Now, let’s walk through 3 practical steps for what to do when you feel unfulfilled in your life.

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Why Do I Feel Unfulfilled Step 1: Dream

First, write out the details of your ideal life in your chosen area.

For example, if you’ve chosen work, write out how you want to feel and what you want to experience in your ideal career or work environment.

As you do, let your imagination soar. Remember, your happiness lies in these dreams.

As you dream, you may feel tempted to rein in your imagination or censor yourself. If this happens, let go of your inner critic, self-judgment, and self-censoring.

Instead, remember who you serve.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Matthew 19:26 (CSB)

Don’t let what seems like impossible dreams stop you from pouring them out. Instead, let them come so you can reconnect with what want and need to feel fulfilled in your life.

Why Do I Feel Unfulfilled Step 2: Get Real

Next, write about your current life in detail in this same area.

You need to face your reality head-on. So be raw and honest as you write, especially with the not-so-pretty parts. If you don’t, you’ll go away from this exercise still wondering, “Why do I feel unfulfilled?”

Remember, no one needs to know what’s in your heart.

Wise people treasure knowledge, but the babbling of a fool invites disaster.
Proverbs 10:14 (NLT)

This is strictly between you and God until you’re ready to do something about it.

Why Do I Feel Unfulfilled Step 3: Bridge the Gaps

Once you’re clear on what you truly desire vs. what you currently have, it’s easier to see the existing gaps between the two.

Those gaps are the answer to why you’re feeling unfulfilled in life. They show you where your life is out of alignment.

As you look at each gap, brainstorm ways to bridge them. This will show you what needs to happen so you can create for yourself the fulfillment you’ve been missing.

Full disclosure, though. Taking action is often easier said than done. This is because you’ll need courage to propel yourself from dreaming to doing.

Don’t Forget, This Is a Must

As you find quiet and solitude to dig into why you feel unfulfilled, spend some time praying. In fact, start and end your thinking time with prayer.

As you begin, ask God to:

Guide you as you allow yourself to get honest and answer, “Why do I feel unfulfilled?”
Help you remember your forgotten or suppressed dreams.
Open your eyes to your current reality.
Help you find the courage to face what you have to do to bridge the gaps between what you want and what you have.

As you go through this exercise, you may feel uncomfortable, afraid, or unsure. At those times, don’t stop, and don’t give up on yourself.

Instead, surrender your feelings to the Holy Spirit and receive His comfort.

But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you.
John 14:26 (AMPC)

Then, with the courage you prayed for, get right back to the work of finding what to do when you feel unfulfilled.

Also, wrap up this life-changing time with prayer. As you end:

Thank God for the gift of your unhappiness, which will lead you to the path He prepared for you.
Thank Him for giving you clarity and wisdom to answer, “Why do I feel unfulfilled?”
Ask Him to help you be courageous as you prepare to execute your plans to bridge the gaps you’ve found.

Why Do I Feel Unfulfilled? A Checklist for Your Next Steps

Back when I was wrestling with my nagging unhappiness and wondering why I felt unfulfilled, I didn’t have the answer. No one seemed to.

But I also didn’t have the courage to face the truth: I was living out of alignment with the dreams God had placed in my heart.

So I spent years more than necessary trying to solve or ignore my unhappiness. I told myself I had nothing to be unhappy about and shamed myself with toxic positivity.

Instead of using these 3 simple, practical steps, I let my life implode. Then I had to deal with the fallout and rebuild everything from scratch.

But now I know better. And so do you.

Here’s a checklist of what to do when you feel unfulfilled:

Get quiet and get honest with yourself.
Dream about your ideal life.
Get real about your current life.
Identify the gaps between your ideal and current lives.
Decide on one step to start bridging the gaps.

Then you’ll need to do one more courageous thing: Let go of the life you’ve been clinging to.

It may look amazing but it’s the same life making you wonder, “Why do I feel so unfulfilled?”

Here’s the thing. You can’t grab hold of the new things God wants to do in your life while you’re desperately clinging to the old stuff.

But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
Isaiah 43:18 (NLT)

Your future is bright and God has more fulfillment for you than you can imagine. All you have to do is open your arms and receive it.

Before you go, get your FREE printable download to help conquer your confusion—The Essential Guide to Finding Clarity.

Why Do I Feel Unfulfilled? One Surprising Reason + 3 Steps to More Fulfillment