Who I Am vs Who I Want to Be: 5 Practical Tips for Clarity & New Focus

Inside: Get who I am vs who I want to be clarity. Plus 5 practical steps you need to take to switch your focus and make the leap from what has been to what can be in your life.

I reveled in the sun’s warmth on my skin as I strode down the sidewalk, a satisfied smile tugging at the corner of my lips. I knew I looked good today, and I felt beautiful and confident because of it.

My internal spark of joy was just fanning into a flame when I caught sight of myself in the plate glass window I was passing.

What I saw astonished me. Because how I thought I looked wasn’t at all what I saw in the unforgiving reflection staring back at me.

My outfit didn’t look quite right, after all. Plus my hair was doing something wonky. And my leg workout at the gym hadn’t quite paid off the way I’d thought.

In an instant, a wave of disappointment doused my spark of joy. As it turned out, the reality of what I was seeing wasn’t what I wanted it to be.

I kept staring at my reflection, transfixed as I watched my body deflate like a leaky balloon.

After a few more moments, I turned away and shook my head to dislodge my disappointing reflection from my memory.

But my plodding steps away from the woman in the glass told the truth. I’d lost my confidence because who I was didn’t measure up to who I wanted to be.

Not even a little bit.

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Who I Am vs Who I Want to Be: Why You Want to Know

Have you ever had a moment like I did that day? Where you didn’t like who you saw staring back at you? Where the woman you are isn’t even a pale imitation of the woman you want to be? When you thought, “Who I am vs who I want to be are worlds apart! How do I bridge this gap?”

Of course, disappointment in your appearance is one thing. You can always buy a new outfit, change your hairstyle, or switch up your workout routine to sculpt your body in new ways.

But you have a bigger problem when you don’t like who you’re becoming. Or when you compare who I am vs who I want to be and feel not good enough.

What can you do when you’re disappointed in who you are? Or when you don’t even know who you are anymore. And what do you do when you don’t have a clear vision of who you want to be?

When you’re facing this type of dilemma, a great jumping-off point is who I am vs who I want to be journaling prompts. They’ll help you unearth the answers you’re seeking as you get clear about your current situation and what you want instead.

But be warned: journaling won’t solve your problems. Neither will a shelf full of self-help books or endless personality quizzes.

However, when you use these journal prompts to get who I am vs who I want to be clarity, you’ll pinpoint what needs to change in your life. Then you can start making the leap from who you are to who you want to be.

1. Journal about Who I Am

As a Christan woman, the best way to get real truth is direct from the Holy Spirit. It’s no surprise then that I suggest you start your journey of self-discovery with prayer.

Once you’ve prayed, your first step is to face who you are now and how you came to be this way.

And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Hebrews 4:13 (ESV)

If you skip this step, you’ll leave yourself vulnerable to falling back into your old habits and ways of being in no time flat. Then you’ll stay stuck where you don’t want to be.

You can use these journal prompts to jumpstart your journey to deeper self-knowledge. Choose one or as many as you like, and write about it until you run out of words.

If I was being completely honest—and if no one would ever know—I’d describe myself as…
I don’t like facing myself in the mirror because…
I’d be so embarrassed if anyone knew that I think…
The 3 worst things about me are…
The 5 best things about me are…

Then dig deeper by journaling about why you see yourself this way, and how you feel about the way you see yourself.

2. Decide on Who I Want to Be

Once you get a clear picture of the truth of who you are, it’s time to dig into God’s word about who He made you to be.

Of course, you can decide for yourself or depend on someone else’s opinion. But there are 2 problems with these approaches.

First, your motives will probably be all wrong.

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.
Proverbs 21:2 (ESV)

And wrong motives tend to lead you down wrong paths to unhappy destinations.

Second, what higher vision can you have for yourself than the vision God has for you? None!

Instead, if you start with who God says you are and make your motivation a desire to please Him—because He loves you without limits or conditions and always wants only what’s best for you—then you’ll be on the right path.

One simple way to come at this is to study how to know who you are in Christ, which will give you a solid foundation on which to build your new identity.

Another idea is to start a who I am in Christ list, journaling “I am” statements to adopt from what Jesus says about you.

3. Identify the Gaps between Who I Am vs Who I Want to Be

It’s all well and good to know where you’re starting from and where you want to go. But digging into the dissonance between the 2 is where you’ll find solid gold.

So your next step is to start a new journal entry: who I am vs who I want to be. You can use these prompts and your notes to get started.

The 3 biggest differences between who I am vs who I want to be are…
I believe … but instead I find myself doing…
I agreed with … about … even though what I really think is…
I promised myself I would … but then I…
I swore I would never … again but then I…

Again, dig deeper by journaling about why these disconnects exist, and how you feel about them.

But beware! Don’t use what you discover to condemn or beat yourself up for being a terrible person. Because you’re not. In fact, I think loving yourself just as you are right now is a great idea. After all, she’s the one who got you to this point of seeking self-awareness and transformation.

Remember this truth too: You became right with God the moment you accepted Jesus as your Saviour. And this is how God sees you through His lens of grace.

For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:21 (NLT)

So you’re not undertaking a who I am vs who I want to be transformation in order to get good enough for Him to love you more. He already loves you beyond measure!

Instead—with purpose and intention—lean more into what God says about you because you know His best for you far exceeds anyone else’s.

4. Plan How to Go from Who I Am to Who I Want to Be

Your next step is to pray and ask God to show you the one gap on your list that He wants you to focus on first.

This may be something major, which has the potential to bring the biggest change, faster. Or it may be something minor, which can help you flex your muscles and get ready for bigger changes.

Either way, once you identify what you want to change, ask God for practical ideas on how to go about doing it.

For example, do you want to be a courageous woman? Then think about what you’ve been afraid of and resolve to face it. This can range from speaking your mind to someone you’re afraid of, to getting on the zip line at your local adventure park.

Whatever your vision, journal a list of 3 things you can do to bridge one gap between who I am vs who I want to be.

5. Build a Bridge between Who I Am and Who I Want to Be

Your final step is to follow through and do the things you’ve decided need to happen if you’re going to bridge your who I am vs who I want to be gap.

Don’t fall into the trap so many Christians fall prey to by waiting around for God to zap you with the willpower and faith to act. He doesn’t work that way.

Instead, you’ll need to make the daily decision to love yourself enough to do the work that will bring you closer to becoming the woman you want to be.

Your Who I Am vs Who I Want To Be Next Steps

That day when I wilted at the sight of myself in the plate glass window, I didn’t have a clue about the true me hiding below my surface-level, easily scattered confidence. Plus, I had no idea who I wanted to be.

All I knew was, I didn’t want to be the woman staring back at me—a woman who depended on her outsides to determine her worthiness and how she felt inside. I wanted to know how to be a better woman—a confident woman who loved herself from the inside out.

I didn’t know about these 5 steps back then. Thank God I know about—and use them—now, whether I’m taking a massive leap or a tiny step closer to who God says I can be:

Journal about who I am.
Decide on who I want to be.
Identify the gaps between who I am vs who I want to be.
Plan how to go from who I am vs who I want to be.
Build a bridge between who I am and who I want to be.

These are the same steps you can take to go from who you are to who you want to be.

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Here’s the truth though. You can live and die without changing a thing about who you are because God loves you whether or not you choose to evolve into a new version of you.

But you’ll never have peace in your heart and genuine self-confidence if you don’t come into alignment with your true self. Not who other people say you should be, and not a watered-down version of who you can be.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Romans 12:2 (NLT)

Instead, you can become the fullest, boldest, best expression of the amazing, confident woman God made you to be.

Who I Am vs Who I Want to Be: 5 Practical Tips for Clarity and New Focus