Never Regret a Day in Your Life: How to Ditch This Lie & Still Feel Joy

Inside: They say you should never regret a day in your life. Here’s why they’re full of it. Plus how to still be joyful even when you have regrets.

Not too long ago, I almost gave my life over to regret. I was lost in sorrow and disappointment in myself over how I’d spent almost half of my life.

You see, I felt I’d wasted those years. I’d been impatient and passive and hadn’t trusted God. So I’d gone my own way and built the life I was told I should want. From the house in the hills with the luxury car parked in the driveway to the fat bank account and good-looking relationship, I had it all.

And I knew it was all wrong.

But I was too scared to let go of the life I’d built for myself and follow the path God had always had for me. So I wasted more years as a slave to fear and cowardice.

By the time I finally decided to take God’s hand and ditch my old life, I’d wasted almost two decades.

Twenty whole years I’ll never get back. And it bothered me terribly.

No one could tell me, “Live so you never regret a day in your life,” because I already regretted twenty years’ worth of them.

Beauty from ashes meant nothing as I started over my. Tearing it all down, throwing it all out, starting at the bottom, and paying my dues. All over again.

I regretted every wasted year of my life. And I grieved for them all.

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First, Here’s the Problem

They say never regret a day in your life, but I did.

Sure, I’d done everything the world had promised would make me happy and I had it all. But it was all wrong because one thing was missing: the actual happiness.

As it turned out, I wanted my life to count for something besides money and stuff. But if it had ended then, it wouldn’t have stood for anything meaningful or lasting.

So, as much as the world claimed, I never had to regret a day in my life, I knew that was a load of baloney.

Maybe your fear of regret isn’t from leaving a meaningful legacy like my regret was. Maybe it’s because of a decision you’re avoiding.

Like, maybe you hate your well-paying job and you’re dying to leave it. But you’re afraid you’ll regret leaving the perks behind.

Or maybe you’re in a relationship where you feel not good enough for him or you just don’t like your husband anymore. But you’re afraid you’ll regret leaving him.

But the way I see it, even if you avoid making the decision, you may very well regret sticking with the path you’re on now.

No matter what the inspirational quotes and misleading truisms say, the only way to never regret a day in your life—not even one—is to always make perfect decisions and never interact with people.

Here’s the thing. Sometimes you may want to regret a day in your life, a decision you made, or an action you took. Like the time you hurt your friend and never apologized because you were feeling too self-righteous to do the right thing.

Do you see? It’s impossible to never regret a day in your life.

But you can minimize the amount of regret you feel.

How to Get Closer to Never Regretting a Day in Your Life

You’re not alone in feeling the way you do. Besides the millions of people in the world who are also dealing with secret regret, you can also find a story of regret in the Bible.

It’s Peter’s.

Most of us would agree he was Jesus’ most vocal and passionate disciple. Peter was so committed to Jesus that he was willing to die on His behalf.

“No!” Peter declared emphatically. “Even if I have to die with you, I will never deny you!” And all the others vowed the same.

Mark 14:31 (NLT)

Within hours of making this bold declaration, Peter had denied Jesus three times—just as Jesus had said he would.

Peter acted out of fear and a desire to save his own skin.

At that moment the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Suddenly, the Lord’s words flashed through Peter’s mind: “Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.” And Peter left the courtyard, weeping bitterly.

Luke 22:61-62 (NLT)

Imagine the waves of shame and regret sweeping over Peter as his eyes met Jesus’ eyes. Only a fool would then say to him, “Never regret a day in your life! Chalk it up to experience, call it a lesson learned, and move on.”

Stupid, right?

Of course, Peter regretted his biggest moment of weakness and failure! But here’s the crucial thing: Peter didn’t live the rest of his life in regret.

Instead, he accepted Jesus’ grace and forgiveness.

Then he surrendered his life to Christ—for real this time—and became one of Jesus’ boldest apostles.

Once he took this step, Peter allowed God to use him in mighty ways to spread the gospel far and wide, just as Jesus had commissioned him to do.

5 Steps to Restoration from a Bible Story about Regret

When you regret something you’ve done—or something you haven’t done—you can handle it in one of two ways.

First, you can wallow in your regret until you lose yourself in it. Beat yourself up about it, call yourself every kind of fool in the book, and let shame become your new bestie every time you think about it.

Or, you can process your regret in a useful and healthy way so you don’t stay stuck in a moment of failure or weakness. When you choose this option, it’s not that you’ll never regret a day in your life. But you certainly won’t let your regret over past actions taint your present or your future.

Let’s dig into this option by inferring 5 things from Peter’s Bible story about regret. Use these steps to work your way to the other side of regret.

1. Never regret a day in your life: Don’t fight your regret.

The more you fight or ignore your regret, the worse it will feel and the longer it will take you to heal. So let your regret come and allow yourself to feel it.

2. Never regret a day in your life: Have your own back.

Back when you did or said the thing you now regret, you were doing your best based on what you knew and where you were in your journey. Remind yourself of this truth every time you find yourself sliding into new feelings of shame about the situation.

3. Never regret a day in your life: Acknowledge what you’d do differently.

Even as you stop beating yourself up about the thing you regret, it’s important to own up to and accept one simple truth. If you had a do-over, you wouldn’t make the same decision or do things in the same way again.

If you would, you wouldn’t be struggling with regret now.

4. Never regret a day in your life: Repent and make amends.

If the action or decision you regret has hurt someone else, you need to do the right thing.

Confess your fault—to God and to them—and do what you can to make things right. This may mean a simple apology or a larger gesture.

Related: A Simple Guide for What to Do When Your Boyfriend Is Mad at You

5. Never regret a day in your life: Forgive and be forgiven.

Like Peter, you can let gratitude for God’s grace in forgiving your regrettable mistake fuel you as you move forward.

The more you fight or ignore your regret, the worse it will feel and the longer it will take you to heal. So let your regret come and allow yourself to feel it.

How to Deal With Regret Biblically

As you can see by now, catchy quotes about never regretting a day in your life are nothing but feel-good drivel.

All they do is encourage you to ignore your real feelings. This makes them fester and ends up making you feel worse than you already do.

On the other hand, facing what you regret and processing it leads to emotional growth and resilience.

As you’re working through your regret, be guided by what God’s word says about it. These scriptures on how to deal with regret biblically will help you walk away from this experience with more confidence.

1. Feel godly grief over the thing you regret.

For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.

2 Corinthians 7:10 (NLT)

Forget the lie of never regretting a day in your life. If you approach regret in a godly way, you’ll feel godly grief over what you’ve done. Then you’ll repent and be saved from your unproductive regret.

2. Be cleansed by God’s forgiveness.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9 (CSB)

Once you confess and repent of the thing you regret, open your arms and receive God’s freely given forgiveness. Remember to forgive yourself, too. Put down the burden of your mistake at the foot of the cross and leave it there.

Bonus: As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, get this free printable download—The Essential Guide to Finding Clarity. It gives you 7 revealing questions to help conquer your confusion and know what to do now, regret-free.

3. Give yourself a fresh start without regret.

Do not remember the past events; pay no attention to things of old. Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.

Isaiah 43:18-19 (CSB)

You may regret what you’ve done. But God promises a fresh start if you leave your regret behind and look ahead to what He can use you to do.

4. Focus on a future without your regret.

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:13-14 (CSB)

Once you’ve dealt with the regret of your past, Paul’s advice is to stay future-focused.

What you focus on grows so if you choose to wallow in regret, you’ll only produce more regret. Instead, having gone through the five steps to deal with your regret, choose to focus on the new vision God has for you.

5. Let God’s grace restore your joy.

I will repay you for the years that the swarming locust ate, the young locust, the destroying locust, and the devouring locust—my great army that I sent against you.

Joel 2:25 (CSB)

In his Bible verse about regret, God was promising restoration to His people after a devastating experience brought on by their own sin. God says the same to you.

It’s impossible to never regret a day in your life. But when you confess and repent of the underlying sin, God will graciously restore—maybe to overflowing—what you lost in bearing the consequences of your actions.

He’ll give you back your joy of living and of life simply because of His unconditional and unending love for you.

Never Regret a Day in Your Life by Giving It to God

For a long time, I regretted the choices I’d made which brought me to a place of feeling like my life had no meaning. I was sorry I’d let others dictate my path. And I was even sorrier I didn’t have the courage and confidence to stop piling new regret on top of old by making new choices.

But I know better now.

Sometimes, I wish I’d done things so I’d never regret a day in my life. But reality says living without a single regret is impossible. And when you argue with reality, you only make yourself feel worse than you already do.

You can repeat the catchy quotes about never regretting a day in your life but at some point, you will.

When it happens, you don’t have to let become the theme of your life. Instead, use these 5 steps to restore your courage and confidence:

1. Let yourself feel the regret.
2. Stop beating yourself up.
3. Acknowledge what you’d do differently.
4. Repent and make amends for your regrettable actions.
5. Forgive yourself and receive God’s forgiveness.

Then—like Peter did—allow God to use you and your new experience to glorify His name.

Before you go, get your FREE printable download to help conquer your confusion—The Essential Guide to Finding Clarity.

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