5 Powerful Signs He Loves You Deeply [+ 5 Huge Anti-signs You Need to Know]

Inside: Use these 5 signs he loves you deeply to give yourself peace of mind. Plus 5 clear signs he doesn’t love you the way you deserve.

When I got home from work on that Valentine’s Day, our dining table was all set up for a romantic dinner for two. My surprise was for 2 reasons.

First, he almost never cooked. So, of course, I took what looked like his special effort as a sign he loved me deeply. The way I saw it, even the disaster he’d left behind in the kitchen was a sign of his love for me. I mean, it showed how hard he’d tried, right?

The second reason for my surprise was kinda sad: I wasn’t used to him showing any signs he loved me. Like, at all.

Criticism, yes. Exasperation, sure. But putting out a real show of effort to make me feel loved?

Not so much.

Bonus: As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, get this free printable download—The Instant Pep-Talk Pack. Its 8 Scripture cards are a handy reminder of who God says you are so you know the kind of love you deserve.

Why You May Be Looking for Signs He Loves You Deeply

By then, he almost had me convinced one big sign he loved me deeply was that he put up with my many flaws. After all, he’d pointed out every one of them to me.

Every. Single. One.

To be fair, I almost had myself convinced too. I lost count of how many times I asked myself on repeat, “Why would he ever want to marry me?” In fact, I told myself I was lucky he even wanted to live with me. A great man like him who any woman would want (he told me so himself) plus me who was, beyond a doubt, not good enough for him.

It even got to where I was sure he stayed with me because he got more out of keeping the relationship going than breaking up.

Related: Is My Relationship Toxic? 5 Useful Ways To Tell

So maybe you can understand why, by the time Valentine’s Day rolled around, I was on a desperate hunt for signs he loved me deeply. But I was also suspicious about why he was trying so hard.

Meanwhile, I did everything I could to prove my deep love and commitment to him. You see, I hoped seeing how much I loved him—how much I was willing to bear for him—would make him love and accept me.

It’s clear now how blind I was to the truth: His always trying to change me was a sign he didn’t love me deeply. In fact, it was a flashing neon sign that he could someday maybe love the woman he wanted me to be.

And as it turned out, I was an improvement project for him. I was worth working on but not worth loving just as I was.

But First, Know This

Maybe, as I did, you’re looking for signs he loves you deeply because you’ve started feeling like maybe he doesn’t. So you lose hours at a time scrolling through articles on the internet, trying to find signs a man loves you deeply.

And maybe, like I was, you’re scared stiff you won’t find signs he loves you deeply anymore. After all, you’ve invested everything into this relationship: your love, time, and money. Not to mention your pride, self-worth, and self-confidence as you wonder, “Am I a bad person? Why can’t he just love me as I am?”

So maybe, as I did, you feel so bad about yourself in your relationship, you sometimes wish in the secret places of your heart that you weren’t in one. But even as you wish this, you’re afraid to face the prospect of life without him.

Well, the Bible has something to say about your fear.

There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love’s complete perfection].

1 John 4:18 (AMPC)

See, if you’re afraid to lose your man’s love, you may need to hit pause on looking for signs he loves you deeply. Instead, you may need to start examining your love for him.

Now, let’s talk about signs your boyfriend loves you deeply, or your husband or your man.

Signs He Loves You Deeply from the Author of Love

The internet is full of dating tips and relationship advice about signs a man loves you deeply. You can’t throw a stone without hitting an article about understanding men. In most of them, you’ll find the same surface signs he loves you deeply, like he:

• Makes time for you.
• Likes to spend time together.
• Includes you in his future plans.
• Posts about you on social media.
• Makes sure you know you’re the only girl in his life.

But as a Christian woman who’s looking for signs he loves you deeply, dating articles on the internet aren’t your best source of advice. Getting your friends, family, and the rest of the world to weigh in on your love life also isn’t your best option. This is because people tend to live by their own definition of love, which can be pretty fickle.

Instead, you need to go to the Source of all love.

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

1 John 4:7-8 (NLT)

Since God is the Author of love, let’s look at some key Scriptures to help you find signs he loves you deeply…or not. Because if he’s not loving you as the Bible says, you’re short-selling yourself as a daughter of the divine King.

As you’re thinking about these powerful signs a man loves you deeply, remember this: “I love you” means nothing if his actions don’t align with his words.

Bonus: As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, get this free printable download—The Instant Pep-Talk Pack. Its 8 Scripture cards are a handy reminder of who God says you are so you know the kind of love you deserve.

5 Revealing Signs He Loves You Deeply

We can’t talk about signs a man loves you deeply without looking at the ultimate Bible definition of true love. A better picture of deep, true love doesn’t exist anywhere in the universe.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)

Do you notice how these verses talk at length about what true love isn’t? We’re smart women who want to live the most amazing possible life. So we’re going to dig into these warnings—those critical anti-signs I promised you. Then you’ll know to be on the lookout for them.

But first, let’s mine this juicy Scripture for the gold standard of signs he loves you deeply.

1. He’s patient and kind: a good sign he loves you deeply

Let’s dig a little into the 2 important words which start off our study passage: patient and kind.

Merriam-Webster defines the word patient as, “bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint, steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity.”

It defines kind as, “arising from or characterized by sympathy or forbearance.”

So one of the first signs he loves you deeply, even without him saying so, is when he remains calm for as long as necessary through difficult circumstances in your relationship. Plus, he shows mercy and grace while doing so.

These little things are beautiful signs a man loves you deeply.

2. He tells you the truth in love: another great sign he loves you deeply

This one can be tricky. Way too often, people tell you the truth in a way that makes you feel like a naughty puppy. Like you’ve just had your nose rubbed in your poo “for your own good.”

This icky feeling when you’re called out with the truth is partly about how you take criticism. I mean, let’s face it, you may see every criticism as an attack, even when it’s given with gentleness and love.

But this is also about his willingness to tell you what you need to hear. Yes, even when it’s hard to say and even when you don’t want to hear it. And he’ll do it without rubbing your face in it.

Reflecting on our study passage, this is part of what “rejoicing when the truth wins out” means. It doesn’t mean he’s happy to hit you with a hurtful truth or see you taken down a peg.

Instead, it means he’s so committed to seeing you live your very best life, he’s happy to tell you the truth. Even if it hurts him to do it.

Knowing he has your back, even if it’s to his own detriment? Another wonderful sign he loves you deeply.

3. He sticks with you through thick and thin: a good sign he loves you deeply

You’ll see this towards the end of our study passage: Love never gives up and it endures through every circumstance.

So a huge sign a man loves you deeply is when he’s committed to you, even on days when he doesn’t feel like it. Because yes, love is a feeling, but it’s also a conscious choice.

This means your man loves you even when your behavior or your circumstances are unloveable. It means he sticks it out with you instead of turning tail and running. Or worse, turning against you.

4. He loves you sacrificially: another great sign he loves you deeply

The first 3 signs he loves you deeply are all the juice we can squeeze out of our 1 Corinthians passage. But we can find a couple more signs your boyfriend loves you deeply—or your husband—in another juicy Scripture.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.

Ephesians 5:25-26, 28 (NLT)

Your man may not need to lay down his life for you. But one of the most important signs he loves you deeply is when he acts in your best interest. Even if he has to give up his own comfort for your good.

This isn’t to say he gives you whatever you want. Doing so is spoiling you, which has its place but isn’t sacrificial love.

Instead, it means he makes decisions that are for your good, even when they don’t feel great for him. This may look like telling you the truth, even when he knows you’ll be mad at him.

5. He loves you as he loves himself: a wonderful sign he loves you deeply

Here’s the thing. Checking how he behaves towards himself will show you one of the biggest signs a man loves you deeply, or not. All without him saying a word.

If his behavior towards himself is destructive or shows a lack of self-love, don’t expect to magically find signs he loves you deeply.

Jesus, Himself said you should love God, yourself, and your neighbor. So if your man is a pro at loving God and himself well, then he’ll certainly love you well too.

Having said this, please don’t confuse arrogance with genuine self-love.

Related: Self-Love Bible Study: How to Love Yourself in Truth

Don’t let his ego trip or boastfulness blind you and make you think he loves himself. Not when the truth is, he’s insecure and wouldn’t know real love if a million flashing neon Vegas-style signs were pointing at it.

How can you tell if he loves himself deeply? See if his relationship with himself is healthy, loving, and supportive. If it is, the chances you’ll find signs he loves you deeply ratchet up.

But Be Warned…

Now you know the top 5 most important signs he loves you deeply. Together, these signs are the gold standard of true love:

1. Your man is patient and kind toward you.
2. He tells you the truth in love.
3. Your husband or boyfriend sticks with you through thick and thin.
4. He loves you sacrificially.
5. He loves you as he loves himself.

What a beautiful picture of when a man deeply, truly loves you!

But we’d be stupid not to pay attention to the rest of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7—the parts warning us about what love isn’t.

So let’s dig into 5 critical anti-signs. Beware of these because they’re legit signs he doesn’t love you deeply, no matter what his mouth says.

1. He’s jealous of you.

Some people may try to convince you his jealousy is a sign he loves you deeply. But the very first part of our study Scripture calls this out as a bald-faced lie. The truth is, his jealousy is a sign of his insecurity.

Now, this may be typical jealousy over other people, but it may even be jealousy over your success. One easy way to tell is if he puts you or your accomplishments down.

No matter how you come at it, jealousy is a huge sign he doesn’t love you deeply.

2. He’s disrespectful to you.

Disrespect can be obvious, like if he verbally abuses you. But it can also be subtle emotional abuse.

For example, maybe he turns everything around on you. And he’s so slick, you don’t even realize what he’s up to.

When he gaslights you like this, he manipulates and trains you to believe he’s always right and you’re always wrong. He undermines your self-confidence, your self-esteem, and your self-worth.

Nothing about this type of disrespectful behavior says patient or kind. For sure not in the way our Bible passage describes true love to be. But it screams rudeness and demanding his own way.

3. He always tries to one-up you.

If your man always tries to one-up you—like you’re in competition with him—this is not a sign he loves you deeply. It’s another manifestation of his jealousy. If he does this with you, he probably does it with others too. You see, an insecure person is insecure in every sphere of their life, even if they seem confident.

How can you tell if this is your man? It looks like him always finding a way to turn the spotlight on himself when you or someone else achieves something big. He’ll bring up and boast about past accomplishments in his life.

So beware: His boastfulness is a warning sign of his insecurity and a sign he doesn’t love you deeply.

4. He always has to get his way.

Do you always somehow find yourself going along with what he wants? Even when you’ve been adamant about going in another direction?

Then you may be overlooking a sign he doesn’t love you deeply.

This is straight from the part of our study Scripture which says love doesn’t demand its own way.

You see, a man who loves you and is secure in himself doesn’t always have to have his way. A man of emotional and spiritual maturity knows compromise is critical in every human relationship.

He also knows that one person shouldn’t feel like they’re always losing while the other person is always winning.

5. He forever brings up your past mistakes.

If you’re wondering about signs he loves you deeply, check to see if your man is keeping a record of all your wrongs. Because if he is, this is a huge sign that he doesn’t love you deeply.

This isn’t to say you never make mistakes. After all, you’re human and therefore imperfect, just like he is.

But when you do make a misstep, if he loves you deeply, he’ll be hurt but he’ll do the emotional work to get to true forgiveness and grace.

Your Checklist of Signs He Loves You Deeply

Back on that Valentine’s Day when I was desperate for signs my man loved me deeply, I didn’t know what to look for.

But I can see the irony of it now: I was a church girl and my Bible had the answers all along! The thing is, I didn’t see them then because I’d ditched God’s gold standard of love for a raggedy imitation of the best my Father had for me.

As it turns out, not only was I missing signs my boyfriend didn’t love me deeply. I was also missing signs God was answering my prayers about my situation.If I’d opened my eyes and faced the truth, maybe I’d have been brave enough to stop choosing to stay stuck in a relationship with my own personal Negative Nelly.

One more important thing to keep in mind as you’re looking for signs he loves you deeply. His love for you doesn’t have to be perfect to be deep.

Only God loves you perfectly. As a human, your man is less than perfect and will sometimes mess up, just like you. This is why patience and kindness are important signs a man loves you deeply.

Finally, don’t choose blindness the way I did. Instead, as you’re looking for signs he loves you deeply, be willing to face whatever you find.

I hope you’re showered with a million undeniable signs your boyfriend loves you deeply. But if you check the 5 anti-signs I gave you and find out he doesn’t love you as much as you hoped, you still come out a winner.

Because now you know the truth, which means you’ve empowered yourself to make a wise choice, no matter what you decide.

Before you go, get your FREE printable download to help conquer your confusion—The Essential Guide to Finding Clarity.

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